While I’m recovering, my mom is letting me listen to her side of the calls (I can’t hear the employee because privacy laws) but I just heard:

Thank you for calling employee services, how can I help you?

Oh your employee discount? That would be under your phone number.

Well are you an employee? No? You would have to be an employee to have an employee discount.

Your wife is an employee? Then use her phone number. Here, give me her phone number and I’ll look it up to make sure it’s set up

Okay so that phone number didn’t come up with an account. Do you have another? Okay I’ll look that one up. That one is her number on here and it’s hooked up to her employee discount

Yeah so you just put in that number. No, I can’t put your phone number. I also can’t change your wife’s phone number because I don’t have her permission. She’s not on the phone.

You can just use the number you gave me. The last one. Yeah that one. That will give you employee discount

Well, sir, you can’t get the employee discount with your number because you’re not an employee. You have never worked for this company. No I can’t do that. Do you need to talk to discount services? I can transfer you over.

No they will tell you the same thing. Non-employees cannot get the EMPLOYEE discount. It’s for employees, that’s why it’s called employee discount. Okay I’m transferring you over